March 2012
35 posts
"My sister lost her baby... and my state requires... →
stfuconservatives:
leeleeleelee submitted: “This is the reality of Texas’ ultrasound for abortion bill. A 30 year old Texas woman’s fetus’ heart stopped beating after 12 weeks. The options given were to wait until miscarriage, give birth to it, or to abort it (the preferred, safest option). She has to look at an ultrasound of her already dead fetus and if she looks away, she will have to...
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Dave: How's it going?
Me: Let me tell you what I have done in the last 3 hours. I bathed the dog so he no longer smells like a foot, I cleaned up all the newspapers off the front stoop and recycled them, I threw away all the casseroles in the fridge, I took out the trash, I did the dishes, I sectioned out Roc's food for his Aunt Lindsay, I did three loads of laundry, I washed the sheets and made the bed, and I put away all my clothes.
Dave: Jesus Christ, are you feeling okay?
Me: ...Actually, no. I'm sick.
Dave: I like it.
February 2012
29 posts
4 tags
Why no one uses Bing
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Online apparel shop Zappos.com will celebrate Leap Year by extending its existing 365-day return policy by another three years.
Anyone making a purchase on Feb. 29 will enjoy a whopping four-year return window, the retailer announced Monday.
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You know how we regular people have The List of celebrities we can hook up with if given the chance? I was wondering last night if celebs have their own lists.
Probably. I mean, right?
I bet this is what a few of them look like:
Taylor “Intolerably Sweet” Swift: Justin Bieber, Prince William, Ryan Gosling, a Ken doll and Zac Effron
Lindsay “Hot Mess” Lohan: Christian...
3 tags
Mom: When I paid for groceries with a credit card, I used to sign my name as "Fuck You" on the little pad.
Me: Why on earth would you do that?
Mom: Just to see if it made a difference. It doesn't. The charge always goes through no matter what.
Me: Wow. Just wow.
Mom: Also, I thought it was funny... Until I realized that the cashiers always see what I write.
Me: *facepalm*
5 tags
I think our mail delivery person is drunk.
Constantly.
That’s the only explanation I can come up with for why he/she delivers the wrong mail so often. But this time? This time takes the cake.
This time, Drunk Mail Person didn’t just deliver someone else’s bill that slipped in with ours. Or a greeting card in which someone wrote a “1” that looks like a...
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I was in Denver all last week for work and let me tell you a few things I’ve realized during my trip:
Colorado is GORGEOUS.
A Ford Focus is a really shitty car.
Getting dinner with my cousin several times a week is something I could get used to.
Working in an office with coworkers and not clients is basically a dream. A freeing, freeing dream. (Sample comment: “Can I just tell you?...
3 tags
I'm not good at being mysterious.: Planned... →
So Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure today announced that they will no longer give any funding to Planned Parenthood.
This funding allowed Planned Parenthood to provide breast examinations and referrals for mammography and ultrasound to patients at their health centers, patients who were able…