elle.em.cee.

Since I’m a bridesmaid in my cousin’s wedding, I took my body measurements today.

Never do that. Unless you want your day ruined.

Let’s just say no modeling agency will be knocking down my door anytime soon. In fact, I kind of feel like Jillian Michaels will bust in here any second, snatch my precious beer out of my grubby hands and throw me to the ground to force me into sit-up hell for all eternity.

I’m a tad too insecure to post my exact numbers, but let’s just say that my bust is small, my waist is gigantic (as if it ate another waist while I wasn’t looking) and my hips are child-size. This makes me the most awkwardly proportioned adult in the history of the world.

It’s like looking in a mirror.